Family problems leaving me sad. Will report trolls and flamers.?

I’m a 13 year old teenager who gets good grades, always B’s and above. I live in a wealthier suburb, and have recently been having issues with my family.

I have two sisters, but the subject is mostly about one. We’ll call them Jen and Beth. Jen is age 27, and Beth is age 29. I’m 13. Jen is handicapped and living with me and my parents, while Beth is living a life on her own with her own house and job etc.

My father has had a lawsuit that we won’t get into, but anyways it has left me not being allowed to see any of my extended family on my dad’s side. This means aunts, uncles, cousins and my grandmother. Due to this we have been in court for many years, at least 6.

Due to the cost of these lawsuits, our family has been down in money, on top of the already declining economy. My mother’s car was getting old, breaking and was in need of a new one. My dad had earlier bought cars of my sisters, and had to sell one to buy a new van. Now, my sister Jen who is handicapped has been left without her own source of transportation. She is slowly getting better, but still can’t walk. She can drive however. Jen has always seemed a little spoiled to me, and had always gotten her way. Now that our family is down in funds, she cannot. This is causing her to cry when my father denies her to do her own thing, such as go to McDonalds while we are all at Burgerking. She get extremely upset and starts to cry, and saying how he shouldn’t have taken away her car and stuff. She tells him he made a promise he can’t keep, and isn’t a good person. I think my father is doing all he is capable of, and she should be grateful. However she keeps throwing things in his face how he doesn’t talk with his mother anymore and that she wants to get out of the house. She claims she is a prisoner here, and that she can’t do what she wants. She said she should never have came here (from what I understand, my dad yelled at her to come back home after her injury, even though she didn’t want to) and wants to leave. My father usually just sits there taking it all, and then takes out his anger with all these issues later on. He will get upset with me then about small things. This leaves me feeling very hopeless about the whole situation, often times depressed and with suicidal thoughts. Please help.
I only think, never try. I seriously doubt I ever will try too. And my parents are muslim, however I think that whole religion sounds ridiculous, but that’s only me. I prefer to think of my self as a naturalist and atheist, with only the START having supernatural interference.

Has anyone else experienced refund problems with Travelocity?

I booked a room through Travelocity in May and was not due for my vacation until June. Circumstances disabled me from being able to go on vacation so I called Travelocity to cancel my reservation and according to the agent, my cancelation was completed. The day passed that I had originally scheduled for vacation and was reviewing my credit card statement only to find out that I was charged on my credit card for a room I had canceled through Travelocity. After going round and round with them, Travelocity still claims they did their part by canceling but the hotel did not so it was not their fault, and then in speaking with the hotel, they claim Travelocity never canceled according to their audits. I canceled my reservation well in advance and did my part, I feel someone her eis lying and does not want to fall claim. I filed a claim through the BBB and the hotels corporate office.

Does anyone have any suggestions other than what I have done, to get my money back accordingly?

Helping troubled teens develop skills to deal with their own problems

Some of the most popular solutions for “troubled teens” are boot camps or school discipline. However, several criticisms of this solution have come forward in the last few years. In addition, new data shows that there are effective treatment programs that avoid the pitfalls of boot camps and the twin revolving doors of school discipline or the justice system.

One of the leading critics of boot camps says they are becoming outdated because they handle struggling teens “in ways that don’t address their true difficulties.” Ross Greene is a psychologist and author of the recently published Lost at School: Why Our Kids With Behavioral Challenges Are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them. Ross notes that many schools are still focused on disciplining teens when what they need to do is identify and deal with the lagging skills that cause teens to fall into trouble.

Greene argues, “Well-behaved students aren’t behaving themselves because of the school discipline program. They’re behaving themselves because they have the skills to handle life’s challenges in an adaptive way.” According to Ross, “We’re losing a lot of kids and a lot of teachers because we still view challenging kids the wrong way. It’s an exercise in frustration for everyone involved.

“In other words, these kids have a development delay, a learning disability of sorts… in the same way that kids who are delayed in reading are having difficulty mastering the skills required for becoming proficient in reading, challenging kids are having difficulty mastering the skills required for becoming proficient in handling life’s social, emotional, and behavioral challenges.”

In discussing the popular option of “boot camps for troubled teens,” Dr. Edward Latessa essentially echoes Greene in decrying a root problem with these: their focus on discipline over treatment and rehabilitation.

Latessa writes, “What are they teaching you in boot camp? Drills, ceremony, discipline, how to say yes sir, no sir. Well the problem is that’s not related to delinquent behavior.” Latessa counters that good programs focus on behaviors, attitudes and coping skills that help students face and deal with real world problems. Today’s successful treatment programs focus on practical skills as simple and straightforward as how to avoid risky situations and negative friends and remaining assertive with peers intent on leading them astray.

“If teens practice these skills then they have the ability to deal with situations when they get into them. Good programs teach those things and they do it in a way that it is modeled, practiced, and reinforced.”

Indeed, a recent study backs up his claims. Treatment programs that focus on behavior and attitudes and are properly licensed have documented success. The National Association of Therapeutic Schools and Programs (NATSP) surveyed 1027 adolescents within a year after discharge from one of its member programs. Analysis showed that “adolescent problems improve significantly during private residential treatment and that, with only a few exceptions, discharge functioning and in-treatment change are relatively similar, regardless of adolescent background, history, problems, and treatment factors.”

In order to be a member of NATSP, treatment programs must be “licensed by the appropriate state agency authorized to set and oversee standards of therapeutic and/or behavioral healthcare for youth and adolescents” or the program must be “accredited by a nationally recognized behavioral health accreditation agency.” In addition, its therapeutic services must have “oversight by a qualified clinician.”

Changing behaviors and attitudes is the key to helping teens deal with their own troubles, far more effective than discipline imposed by any outside agent. Today’s effective programs are focused on attitude changes and bestowing practical skills so teens avoid trouble. As Gordon Hay of Venture Academy, a school and summer camp for troubled teens in Ontario, says, “Boot camps are heading toward extinction.”